ring in the changes
Written by Svenda Scholey
A change may be as good as a rest, but major change in your life can be a scary prospect. Svenda Scholey offers some tips on how to minimise the pain and maximise the gain of revamping your life.
Take control of changes in your life. Positively anticipate change - enjoy the excitement of new stuff - anticipate the pleasure of arriving at a different future full of promise, new experiences and potential.
Many changes we take in our stride, while some are (initially) awsome to behold. Both a threat and a promise, change challenges our feelings of comfort, control, confidence and competence.
Initial resistance and reluctance to change is natural. The catalyst for change arrives and our reactions begin with denial - turmoil - resistance - and then fear. Having reached the darkest depths, acceptance begins to bubble up and continues to grow. You spot opportunities, you find your way forward and committment settles in and the change is in your life.
Make changes - even imposed changes - work for you. Assume that change is simply a catalyst and launch pad for a new, future you.
To maximise the gain and minimise the paid of achieving change, be sure to:
- Consider change as an opportunity for a better future - maybe to have a go at something fresh or interesting or just different - or add a new string to your bow by adding to your ever-growing portfolio of personal and professional skills.
- Think of your tomorrows - decide what you want, make your steps towards your changing reality.
- Acknowledge your current reality - be sure to recognise all the good stuff you've got, your inner resources, your experience and skills - you could be surprised by how useful these can be in your new future.
- Choose responsibility for action - where there is a will, there is a way.
- Take control - and enjoy the ride!
Your personal change thermostat
How much change do you feel comfortable with before you try to stop it? Are you forever caught up in the never ending changes or are you continually blocking changes?
Our capacity for change is regulated by our inner 'personal change thermostat'. It is not unusual to leave the tolerance level stuck on a childhood setting. When a pre-set threshold is reached, a system kicks in to keep things within the defined zone.
Comfort zones - we all have one
A comfort zone is natural. It is a place where we feel comfortable, where we can avoid the worries of the world. BUT - is your comfort zone really a danger zone - in danger of keeping you in familiar, but inappropriate, unwelcome or unhelpful circumstances?
How much change before you shout STOP!
If you have a low tolerance for change, you will respond to even the slightest change with reluctance. If you have a very high tolerance, there may be so much change that you may live in an atmosphere of personal chaos.
Resistance kicks in
Any change that push at the boundaries of our comfort zone will meet resistance. You can use this reluctance as a signal to check out what's occurring. Then open up your real choices for getting the very best from your changing circumstances and expand your comfort zone.
When you sense your own reluctance, explore your changing circumstances and ask yourself "what is it about this that has triggered my resistance?"
Sometimes, when faced with a new situation, we may fear that we can't handle it, doubting our abilities. Sometimes we may kid ourselves that it is more convenient to just ignore challenges in the hope that, somehow, they will work themselves out. Make sure that YOU set YOUR personal change thermostat at a tolerance level that works for you. Challenge the boundaries of a comfort zone that suffocates you, explore your reluctance and create a comfort zone that nurtures you.